So, here we are. We are three days into the new year.
They have been overall good days for me (as I hope they have been for you). I can't wait to be back in Greensboro. I love my little town, but I also miss the hustle and bustle of a city. I miss having something to do; yes, I did just say I miss homework. I miss my friends. I miss my campus ministry. I miss the support there on campus. All that being said:
The last few days I have been nervous. Like, anxious. A lot. No idea why. It just seems to be a normal part of my day now. Part of it, I think, stems from the fact that I'm moving into a lot of new stuff this semester/year. I'm taking three classes I'm almost positive I'm going to be terrible at, I'll be leading a bible study for the first time ever (exciting, but still a bit nerve-wracking), and I'm turning 20. Maybe I'm just having a bit of an existential crisis about no longer being a teenager, but I truly do feel like I'm just freaking out all the time over things I have zero control over.
It almost feels like I'm being tempted with worry, if that makes sense. In Francis Chan's Crazy Love, he talks about how stress and worry are both ways of telling God that we don't trust Him enough. And then tonight, I saw this tweet: "Don't freak out because u don't know what the future holds. Remember, God holds the future in His hands. Sleep well." To be honest, that's (for some reason) something I've been having trouble doing lately. Going to bed and sleeping with ease. I feel... scared at night for some reason. I don't know what it is, or why, but I just feel uneasy. But, for some reason, those two things clicked in my head tonight. That I truly can sleep well and be at peace, because God has me in His hand. There is nothing I can do about my future, except trust that God sees it and is planning and shaping it.
It's just comforting to know that the One who knows eternity loves and knows me too.
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