Tonight... I just feel so overwhelmed by God's love and mercy. I went with my roommate to an off campus ministry called Encounter, and at Encounter, we read 1 Corinthians 13. You know, the "love chapter". The one that is read at every wedding ever. That one.
I struggle with forgiveness, and with loving. Obviously I struggle forgiving and loving others, but for some reason, it's harder sometimes to forgive myself, and move on from the past. When we read 1 Corinthians, I saw a picture of how we're supposed to love others, but also, a picture of how we should love ourselves. Let me explain! Normally, when Christians talk about "loving themselves", it's assumed that we are sinning by being prideful, or whatever. However, tonight I saw a different picture. I saw Christ's love shining... And I think that, in order to fully love others, we have to love and accept ourselves. Not to a prideful extent, but we have to accept ourselves as Christ loved and accepted us. We are valuable, but only through Christ. We are made righteous, but only through Christ. We are forgiven, but only through Christ. For a long time now, I've held myself to an impossibly high standard. It was too high because I thought I could reach it alone. I thought I could love myself; I thought I could forgive myself; I thought I could love and forgive others without help. Tonight, God moved some things in my heart, and helped me to see: There is nothing I can do without Him. Nothing at all.
I'm not sure if this post makes a lot of sense, but I just wanted to share what God laid on my heart tonight.
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